Boundaries are our friends...
Nugget of the Week
I can speak of this as not only am I a recovering people pleaser, but also a recovering perfectionist. And I can tell you, that’s a troublesome combination.
What’s fascinating to me is that I can see very clearly when others are in the grip of these drivers, but it’s so much harder to hold the mirror up to myself. But here’s what I’ve realised, as I notice it in others, it’s the nudge I need to take a quick look at my own behaviour.
A simple “Where can I be kinder to myself?” is all that it takes.
You know we are all connected, energetically or by collective consciousness, so when I choose to be vulnerable enough to also share that I’m asking myself that question, others actually feel that I’m inviting them to reflect on the question for themselves. That’s what resonance is about.
This Sh** Really Happened!
I nearly got wiped out on a roundabout as I was driving home this week. And this got me thinking – how often do we fail to signal our intentions when we’re communicating with loved ones and/or colleagues?
We often mention that a failure to listen is the biggest problem in communication, but I think for we introverts, it’s more likely to be a failure to signal our intent.
I love using preframes and encourage my delegates to use them in many of my courses.
Not heard of a preframe?
I first learned about them when studying NLP, Neurolinguistic Programming and they are simply a brief statement that you use before delivering your main message.
For instance, “In order to help me prioritise my workload, please let me know the real deadline for this piece of work”
This helps to prepare the other party so they understand the context, purpose, or desired outcome of my communication. In this instance, it reduces misunderstandings, stops people having to ask ‘why’, and therefore reduces the likelihood of you sounding defensive.
Just like using the indicators in your car to signal your intended manoeuvre will stop me from nearly getting wiped out and gesturing in a rude fashion!
Coming up, Buttercup!
In case you haven’t noticed 2025 is in sight and you know I love to be ahead of the curve. so, I am working on a Summit focused on Introverted Mid-Career Women. More info coming soon!
Watch the premiere of Not Just Lip Service
Hot off the Press
Released this week by the House of Flourishing Introverts.
If you rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify as well as Like, Comment and Share the YouTube video you will be helping other fellow introverts who may find this content helpful, encouraging them to live a more fulfilled and authentic life.
I look forward to you tuning in and as you do, and in coming days there is much excitement I have to share with you. Gently and step by step!
Cage Rattler & Bias Shifter – Helping organisations unlock potential by shifting extraversion bias | Coaching quiet leaders | TEDx Speaker | Trainer | Founder, CEO – Flourishing Introverts | Host – The Flourishing Introvert Talks and (dropping) Pebbles in the Pond | Author – The Flourishing Nudge | Co-Flourisher, Co-Founder – Intent to Flourish
