When Our Script Needs Rewriting

When Our Script Needs Rewriting

At first glance, it may appear as though I’m encouraging you to become playwright. What you may not realise is that in some ways you already are though, because going back many years, you began to write the script of your own life.

What I’m now inviting you to do is to take back full editorial control of your scripts and here’s why.

The script you began crafting in your childhood was based on limited experiences and questionable decision making. Not through any fault of your own of course, but given that we now know the pre-frontal cortex of the brain, the part involved in understanding consequences of our actions, doesn’t finish developing until, on average, 25 years old, any decisions we make before that age may be considered questionable.

For clarity, I’m referring to the concept of Lifescripts, a key component of Transactional Analysis, which is a theory of personality and a psychological framework or set of theories. I’ve long been a fan and refer to it often. And, there was a particular reason why it appeared again on my radar recently.

It really doesn’t make sense for me to continue to live my life as the youngster in me thought I should. Little Joanna may have thought it was a great idea at the time of writing, but as I’ve been finding out over the years, she was working with a restricted view of the horizon.

And here’s why I began on this particular jaunt. I was exploring the mental receipts we hoard for a podcast episode, when I had a flash of insight. A BFBO as I call them. I think the mental receipts we tend to cherish and probably hold on to long past when we need to, are those that align beautifully with our predominant life script. We don’t have just one though and I outlined some of the different types in my related LinkedIn Article xxxxxx

Now I must say that rewriting lifescripts is usually work done in conjunction with a therapist, and I’d always recommend that, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make a start ourselves. And as the title of this article nudges us to consider, knowing when is it’s time for that work is essential.

Here’s what nudged me to know it was time.

When I took a careful look at the mental receipts I’d been hanging on to, the common theme was that they reinforced an I’m Not Ok script. There was no evidence that I could quickly find of me thinking I was OK. It occurred to me that I didn’t really value any of that evidence. Kind of sad when I think about it now.

So I had created a pretty intricate web of selective evidence all of which reinforced a
process script confirming that I was not enough, a restriction script embedding that I was not worthy of love, and an outcome script which suggested that I’d not be one of life’s winners. These script types I explained in the LinkedIn article if you want to know more.

What’s interesting to me about the ‘not being a winner’ is that this is distinct in some ways and therefore not the same thing at all as me being a loser. It’s like little Joanna decided I would occupy middle ground territory. I’d be just enough, do ok but not brilliantly, be likeable but not loveable.

If ever I was going to receive a bloomin’ great shove that it was time to rewrite my life scripts, that was it.

Delve into any good text about Transactional Analysis and you’ll find the basic steps on how to rewrite your life script, and whilst that’s not really what this article is about, I thought it might be helpful to give you a few pointers if you want to start the work on your own.

  • Take a close look at the mental receipts you tend to keep and notice what pattern they reveal. This may be uncomfortable but stay with it.
  • See if you can recall without reliving your childhood experiences where the young you decided these were the best strategies for recognition, acceptance and belonging.
  • Intentionally look for evidence that contradicts your scripts and pay attention to how you feel when examining those receipts.
  • Grant yourself a refund or shred the receipts that no longer represent how you live your life from this day forward.
  • Decide what types of mental receipts you are going to collect in the future, the receipts that will evidence an updated script.

Those steps represent a solid start, and signify you’re taking back editorial control of your life.

  • 4 minutes

The Original Flourishing Introvert, Cage Rattler & Bias Shifter – Helping organisations unlock potential by shifting extraversion bias | Coaching quiet leaders | TEDx Speaker |  Trainer | Founder, CEO – Flourishing Introverts | Host – The Flourishing Introvert Talks and (dropping) Pebbles in the Pond | Author – The Flourishing Nudge  | Co-Flourisher, Co-Founder – Intent to Flourish

Mentioned in this article...

The Flourishing Nudge - LinkedIn Newsletter

The Flourishing Introvert Talks - Podcast

The Strengths Nobody Has Asked For Yet

The Strengths Nobody Has Asked For Yet

I have very fond memories of Mick Cope – a true legend in his own lifetime – teaching me his MPH model as part of the certification programme for his 7Cs of Consulting. He had a knack of making complex concepts really simple – something I’m forever grateful of.

The 9 lenses of this model create a wonderfully helpful way to view and understand a situation, in order to create robust solutions, And as you might imagine, being the humans we are, we all have our natural preferences when it comes to the 9.

The three Ps in this model refer to an orientation in relation to time, and the lenses are Past, Present, and Projected.

Some of us are more naturally oriented to the past and the focus is lessons learned, predictable patterns, and undeniable history. We’ll often hear that in their language – things like “When we tried that before…” and “Let’s not forget what happened last time…”.

Some of us are more oriented to the present – focusing on the immediacy of a situation with current pressures and needs. We’ll hear things like “What needs our attention right now?”

The final P is projected and looks to the future; the world of intentions, ambitions and possibilities. The language we might hear that indicate this lens is in focus includes “How might that work?” and “If anything were possible what could we do?”.

Now, all three lenses have their place and when it comes to our strengths, I’d encourage us to look through all three, regardless of your preference. There will be strengths that you’ve developed over time – and if you’re anything like me, you may have seriously doubted if they were ever going to really become strengths. These include things you love doing but we’re not yet competent at, and/or things you were competent at but didn’t really enjoy. Both have the potential to become strengths in my experience.

In episode 340 of my podcast, The Flourishing Introvert Talks, I recommended undertaking a strengths audit to determine which of your current strengths might be of benefit in your future roles – planned or aspirational. So this is very intentionally pointing you to ask those projected type questions. And typically what we’ll find there, especially if you’re looking to take on a more senior role, are the strengths and skills associated with strategic thinking, inclusive influencing, executive presence and visibility, psychological safety, challenge, visionary leadership and more.

Now depending on your lived experience, the development provided by your organisation, and whatever you’ve chosen to do under your own steam, that list may sound a bit daunting. But, being forewarned as they say is forearmed.

Most organisations that I work with expect to see evidence or at least potential of the strengths and qualities you’ll need to demonstrate at a higher level before they promote you. So what are you options? Hope for the best and that you’ll not mess up too badly as you find your feet? Or steal a march by knowing what’s needed, beginning your own development, and getting ahead of the game?

I know which my preference is.

And some of that comes down to my engineering background and my experience as a project manager. If you take the time to anticipate the risks thoroughly, and put plans in place, you’re prepared for all (or most) eventualities.

And, why would I allow unnecessary risks when it comes to my own career and future prospects?

Short answer, I wouldn’t.

But without those lenses, we can become complacent, resting on past laurels, or worse still, accept what others have told us are our strengths. I explored this in an edition of The Flourishing Nudge, my LinkedIn newsletter, as I have such memories of buying into other’s opinions of me rather than believing in my own understanding of my strengths.

So my recommendation is, don’t rely entirely on others to shape you career. They will play a part undoubtedly, but it’s you who are in the driving seat.

And as you look at the road ahead and confirm your route, make sure you’re on top of what’s needed for that journey.

  • 3 minutes

The Original Flourishing Introvert, Cage Rattler & Bias Shifter – Helping organisations unlock potential by shifting extraversion bias | Coaching quiet leaders | TEDx Speaker |  Trainer | Founder, CEO – Flourishing Introverts | Host – The Flourishing Introvert Talks and (dropping) Pebbles in the Pond | Author – The Flourishing Nudge  | Co-Flourisher, Co-Founder – Intent to Flourish

Mentioned in this article...

The Flourishing Nudge - LinkedIn Newsletter

The Flourishing Introvert Talks - Podcast

When consistency stunts growth

When consistency stunts growth

I’ve been mulling something over that surfaced during this week’s podcast recording, and I’d be interested to know whether it resonates with you too.

We seem to admire consistency almost without question. In many situations that’s no bad thing. I can readily work with people who I don’t have to walk on eggshells around. I can trust people who do what they say they’re going to do. I admire integrity, reliability and those who remain true to their values, especially, when life becomes a little more demanding. Those qualities matter. They’re the sort of people I choose to spend my time with, personally and professionally.

But I’m not talking about that sort of consistency this time.

I’m talking about the consistency we expect of ourselves, and often of one another, when it comes to who we are.

It strikes me that changing our mind about ourselves is one of the changes we don’t always welcome. Actually, let me go further than that. Not only do we not welcome that kind of change, we can often flat-out reject it. But change is ever present in our lives. We proudly learn new skills, develop new interests, move to our dream neighbourhood, change careers, and discover food we once swore we’d never eat. (Olives spring immediately to mind. I spent years wondering why anybody would voluntarily put one in their mouth. Now they’re one of my favourite nibbles. Funny old world.)

Yet suggest that perhaps we’re no longer the person we once believed ourselves to be, and things become rather more uncomfortable. If you want an example, think about a formerly overweight friend or colleague. Have you noticed that they still walk as though they are carrying that extra weight? Just an observation, but I know that’s what I did.

Why is that?

I’ve noticed how often people describe themselves using information that seems to have passed its sell-by date. “I’m not very confident.” “I’m hopeless at networking.” “I’ve never been leadership material.” They are the kind of labels that surfaced during my podcast, and by the end, it helped me to acknowledge that there was another question patiently waiting for me that I needed to address.

The interesting thing is that, quite often, the evidence no longer supports the conclusion. They’ve led teams, navigated difficult conversations, started businesses, raised families, survived redundancy, cared for ageing parents and done countless other things that would have astonished the younger version of themselves.
Yet the description remains untouched.

It’s almost as though the identity was laminated years ago and nobody thought or dared to issue an updated version. I mean, laminates are designed to last right?

I don’t think that’s because we’re being dishonest. Quite the opposite. Most of us are trying to be consistent. We want to be known as genuine people. We don’t want to appear fickle or as though we’re reinventing ourselves every five minutes depending on which way the wind happens to be blowing. We’re seeing far too much of that on socials recently so people think it’s what they ‘ought’ to do.

The trouble is that consistency and authenticity aren’t necessarily the same thing.

Authenticity asks us to be truthful about who we are today.

Consistency often encourages us to remain loyal to who we were yesterday.
Those two things sit comfortably together for a while, until one day they don’t.

I wonder whether that’s why personal growth can feel unexpectedly unsettling. We assume we’re being pushed to become somebody notably different, someone we don’t even aspire to be. Perhaps what’s really being asked of us is something far simpler. To acknowledge that we’ve changed, and that change can be good if it’s intentional and for the right reasons.

That sounds perfectly reasonable until you remember, with a tinge of sadness or guilt, that the person you’re leaving behind probably served you rather well.

Perhaps they helped you fit in when fitting in felt like the only option.
Perhaps they kept you safe when confidence was in short supply.
Perhaps they became known as the dependable one, the capable one, the peacemaker or the quiet observer because those qualities opened doors and built relationships.

Why wouldn’t you feel grateful for that version of yourself?

I certainly would.

Indeed, I was.

The difficulty begins when gratitude quietly turns into obligation, often aided and abetted by our Inner Critic. Gladys, my inner critic is really good at reminding me of supposed obligations. We stop appreciating the role that version of ourselves once played is no longer needed and start believing we’re duty bound to keep playing it forever. That’s a rather heavy burden to place on any identity, particularly one that was only ever meant to carry us through a particular season of life.

I’ve come to believe that many of our strengths begin life as choices and slowly become expectations. We choose to help because it feels right. Before long we’re the person everyone relies upon. We choose to stay calm under pressure because it serves both us and the situation. Eventually we’re the one who feels unable to admit we’re struggling. We become so well known for a particular quality that we begin protecting the identity wrapped around it, even when doing so no longer serves us.

Perhaps that’s the real cost of loyalty to an outdated identity.

Not that it stops us changing altogether. Life has a habit of seeing to that whether we like it or not because changing is part of the human condition.

The cost is that we keep trying to squeeze today’s version of ourselves into yesterday’s understanding of who we were. It’s a bit like insisting on wearing a favourite coat you’ve loved for years because it reminds you of good times, despite being threadbare and not fitting properly. The coat isn’t at fault.

It simply wasn’t designed for the person you’ve become.

That leaves me with a question I’ve been asking myself more often lately.

Am I holding on because this version of me still accurately reflects who I am, or simply because it’s become familiar and comfortable?

They’re not quite the same thing.

Exploring that question honestly and deeply with my coach, mentor, and accountability buddies has revealed some uncomfortable truths. I see now with absolute clarity that living a truly fulfilling life requires my intentional ‘unfolding’, not my mindless unravelling. It requires my growth not my stagnation. It requires the courage to continually experiment and not take myself too seriously.

It also requires us to notice and then pay close attention to the evidence of our growth, of our becoming rather than dismiss it casually, or out of embarrassment. That realisation proved to be so powerful for me that I decided to unpack it in this month’s edition of The Flourishing Nudge. I imagine you’ll find it powerful too.

If flourishing has taught me anything, it’s that growing isn’t an act of disloyalty. We don’t diminish the person we once were by allowing ourselves to become more than we ever imagined possible.

Quite the opposite really.

Perhaps the kindest thing we can do is thank that earlier version of ourselves for getting us this far, then allow them a well-earned retirement, wouldn’t you agree?

After all, consistency has its place.

I just don’t think it should ever come at the expense of growth.

  • 6 minutes

The Original Flourishing Introvert, Cage Rattler & Bias Shifter – Helping organisations unlock potential by shifting extraversion bias | Coaching quiet leaders | TEDx Speaker |  Trainer | Founder, CEO – Flourishing Introverts | Host – The Flourishing Introvert Talks and (dropping) Pebbles in the Pond | Author – The Flourishing Nudge  | Co-Flourisher, Co-Founder – Intent to Flourish

Mentioned in this article...

The Flourishing Nudge - LinkedIn Newsletter

The Flourishing Introvert Talks - Podcast

Inclusivity – but HOW? (Ep 237)

Behind the Scenes - Week 36

Nugget of the Week

You might think that some workplace situations are not appropriate for bringing out childlike behaviour. Think again.
I was delivering a course on Presentation Skills this week in a client’s office. We had a great day and there were lots of golden nuggets shared as we explored the why, how and what of presenting an often dry subject. At the end, the group gave me a round of applause, and I spontaneously curtsied, just as I would have done as a child. That provoked more laughter, which was a great way to end what had been an insightful and beneficial day.

This Sh** Really Happened!

So, these price hikes then, what if I were to tell you that I’m talking percentage increases in the hundreds, not just the tens! Really. I don’t begrudge anyone increasing their prices – heck I do that myself, and that’s because I’m a business not a charity. But there’s good business and then there’s greedy!

To add insult to injury, I got the email about the latest automatic price hike the day it would be billed! Being customer focused this is NOT!

It smacks of ‘take it or leave it’ arrogance, and I’ll give you two guesses as to what I’ll be doing. Yep – they got an email from me, and regardless of whether they read it or not, I have the right to respond to their notification.

Coming up, Buttercup!

Do you feel ready to unlock your childlike freedom but not sure how? Many of us have some self-limiting beliefs to overcome because we may be too worried about what other think of us. If you really want to flourish and experience life on your own terms, my Flip Your Limiting Beliefs course might just be the right step to get started.

I created this course with practical strategies that will help you edit the script on self-doubt and encourage you to build a stronger, sassier and confident mindset, while remaining your true quiet-self. Irrespective of where in life you are at this moment, this course offers the tools to break free from the barriers that holding you hostage to fear, shame or gaslighting from within or out.

Begin your journey today towards a more liberated, confidently childlike and sassier you. Rediscover your potential and reignite your sense of wonder.

Click here to sign-up.

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So, that’s a spin around parts of my week and on reflection, there was never a dull moment. I look forward to you joining me next week, and I promise not to make you dizzy!

Reflections Week 39 of 2025

What’s the difference between letting go and simply avoiding what feels uncomfortable?

Avoidance is about shoving things into the cupboard and hoping the door holds. The problem is, we introverts know that what’s hidden still weighs heavy in our minds.

Letting go is different. It’s the courageous choice to face the discomfort, name it for what it is, take the learning, and then release it. Avoidance numbs, but never heals.

Letting go clears the ground so we can grow.

If that lands for you, continue reading the message in Blue Box in the newsletter, as next I talk about how the seasons themselves can help us make peace with these shifts.

How can introverts reframe the changing seasons of life so they feel like opportunities rather than losses?

Each season is a mirror.

Autumn teaches us the beauty of release, winter gives us permission to rest, spring offers renewal, and summer lets us celebrate. When we see life this way, seasons stop being markers of decline and start being invitations to shift our energy.

As introverts, we can thrive when we align with these rhythms instead of fighting them. Loss turns into space. Change turns into opportunity.

To understand how I honour those seasons in my own life, even when it feels hard, check out the closing section in the newsletter.

It is never too late!

It is never too late!

Nugget of the Week

You are never too old and it is never too late to understand and pursue your ‘why’.

Let me say that again because I know firsthand how easy it is for our inner-critic to tell us otherwise. Mine, who you know is called Gladys loves making it about herself and enjoys sending me on self-doubt trip.

So for you, and for myself let me say it again and loudly (yet gently) that You have not missed the boat. You are not too old.

In meeting up with a group of business women who were all part of a Mastermind about 8 years ago, I was reassured that even though I am the eldest, the rest are not far behind me in age, and you know what? We are far from done yet!! (and can you hear the sass in the voice of my words?). Absolutely all of us are flourishing in our so-called Third Age.

We are discovering, evolving, and stepping into our passions with confidence and determination because when you feel fiercely passionate about your why, you take it up as a mission and you advocate with all you’ve got.

Sometimes, it may take a little longer than you thought, but once you recognise the one thing that sets your soul alight, your inner voices says, ‘THIS is what I am meant to do!’; and you own it with pride.

You become an advocate. You become the voice and force of the mission you take up. And oh it feels good. And we all know the best chapters often come much later in the book. Right?

This Sh** Really Happened!

Believe it or not, my children’s book ‘Quiet Is Fun Too’ is now listed on Waterstones. YAY!

No literally, this one is a big deal for me. My book just got listed in Waterstones; one of the biggest and most prestigious bookstores of UK. This is HUGE!

I am not taking this for granted. Being in Waterstones really is next-level credibility.

Although, aspirational as I am I’d like to see my book at the top of their page in ‘Waterstones Children’s Book Prize’ shortlist. Now that is something I look forward to.

Would you rally with me in sharing the word about the book, buy copies and gift them to schools, libraries, playgroups in your community?

Let’s normalise inclusion of introverts from their early childhood, together, as parents, caregivers and educators, what say you?

Coming up, Buttercup!

It is happening. The ‘Not Just Lip Service’ podcast is coming soon to your ear pods.

I am very excited that we are starting to record our brand new podcast, Not Just Lip Service, with my colleague/friend, Intention Strategist – Szebastian Onne G. S.

We all know, now more than ever we need leaders to go beyond lip service as the anti-DEI wave is trying to sweep through the boardrooms, of course led by broligarchs who it seems would love nothing more than to return to the ‘old’ ways when women belonged in the kitchen and others forms of discriminations were acceptable.

We truly need to double-down on Diversity, Equity and Inclusion with genuine action, to prove that we the inclusive leaders are committed to inclusion and a meaningful change on the ground, not just papers.

Szebastian and I bring unique perspectives and communications styles rooted in shared values and aim to challenge the status quo because empty words are just not going to cut it.

Speaking of behind-the-scenes, let me share the challenge I faced this week. It was the weather, because I am a bit of a SAD Sufferer and don’t do well without sunshine. Because of the constant grey and rain, I haven’t moved enough this week. Thankfully it looks like the sun is going to shine brighter today so I am looking forward to that.

Thankfully though, the best thing that happened for me this week was reconnecting with the women leaders I met in the mastermind that I mentioned earlier. We all agreed that meeting each other was the best outcome of the mastermind.

On that note, I hope you found this week’s reflection useful and these behind-the-scenes sneak-peeks uplift your spirit and help you flourish in your journey. I wish you a very Happy Valentine and a beautiful weekend.

Quietly, and gratefully yours,
Joanna

  • 3 minutes

Cage Rattler & Bias Shifter – Helping organisations unlock potential by shifting extraversion bias | Coaching quiet leaders | TEDx Speaker |  Trainer | Founder, CEO – Flourishing Introverts | Host – The Flourishing Introvert Talks and (dropping) Pebbles in the Pond | Author – The Flourishing Nudge  | Co-Flourisher, Co-Founder – Intent to Flourish

The week of Big Decisions

The week of Big Decisions

Nugget of the Week

 I’ve spoken before about surrounding yourself with the right people and for the last 10 days or so, I really have felt the warmth of those who are on the same page as me. And I’m rather overawed.

I’m overawed because it made me realize just how rarely this has happened in my life. And you know my first reaction was a bit of disbelief, a few moments of ‘this is too good to be true’. Because everyone warns us that if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. So, you can hardly blame me.

And yet, I also know the power of optimism and that was the letter ‘O’ in this year’s Seasonal Sanity Savers. I grew up in a very practical and pragmatic household, and yes here is a difference between these two for me.

I was encouraged to be optimistic as a child on the grounds that it fostered the growth mindset (not that we knew that term back then) and enabled the flexibility of approach required to create a pragmatic solution to a problem.

Anyway, I’m now feeling very blessed that I have so many who are supporting my current endeavours. I’ve never liked the term tribe, but I am enjoying the gathering of my guild.

This Sh** Really Happened!

I delivered a disastrous training session, and I do mean the very worst anyone could ever imagine. To make matters worse, all of the bigwig, high powered commissioning clients witnessed it.

I’ve never felt so humiliated or incompetent, so it was a good thing it was only in my dream! I mean how could ALL of my commissioning clients have been in the same event? That would never happen.

I am often staggered at how real dreams are and how they have the ability to rob me of precious restful sleep, because they are so real. This particular dream happened after 6 am when I knew I needed a few more Zzzzzs.

If any of you are dream analysts, I’d love to know what this one means. I was in a large hall like training room, too large for the small number of delegates in attendance.

We were hours into the training when the AV started playing up and rather than showing a video I’d chosen, it kept showing a ball game. I went to get it fixed and when I returned, the large room was now full of people very disgruntled who didn’t really know why they were there.

Worse than that, these bigwig commissioning clients, most of whom I’ve not seen for years and who no longer work for their respective organisations, had clipboards ready to ‘mark’ me.

I went to retrieve my own trainers notes only to find they had been covered by loads of paperwork that the bigwigs had brought. Finding mine would have taken too long so I started to walk the room as I introduced an exercise. My voice was so slurred that I could barely understand what I was saying. At that moment, the clipboards got a lot of attention and several delegates walked out.

I was distraught.

Then the commissioning clients went into a huddle, looked over their shoulders at me and then left.

One whose face was really familiar came in for a hug but I turned away.

I rarely refuse a hug so this much have been serious.

Those sort of dreams are really disconcerting to me – and the fact that I remember so many details must mean there’s a message there for me.

Can anyone help me out?

Most of us dream, even if we don’t remember them and here’s some of the learning I have chosen to take from this one.

If dreams are the way our brain processes the happenings of the day,

  •  Be prepared that one day, all of my key stakeholders might meet and talk to each other. Will they share a consistent, congruent, & compelling impression of what I do and why?
  • When I am launching exciting new projects, consider whether it is better to have more capacity than I might need or make it standing room only? A recent training I attended suggested the latter, so that’s what I’ll probably go with.
  • Always have an AV/tech team on hand (thank you my Intentional team) and prepare an alternative low tech delivery method so that I can deliver whatever I need to without the tech if needed.

I wonder what lessons you would have chosen?

One thing for sure though, I’m not letting this spook me. It could easily lead me into catastrophisation but it was only a dream. Let’s keep that in perspective.

Coming up, Buttercup!

Join me on 2nd January 2025 for a transformative webinar, empowering introverts to step into their strength, while equipping allies to amplify their presence. It is time to rattle cages as a collaborative force.

Trust me, the team and I had different choice of words but we’ve toned it down for the faint hearted.

In a world that often favours the loudest voices in the room, we introverts are frequently overlooked, underestimated, or excluded, if not always. One of my senior executives even reminded me of a mention of ‘Extravert Ideal is the last acceptable bias’ in my Reflections newsletter. And it so is.

But not anymore.

Those who know me for a while know every year on 2nd January I celebrate the World Introvert Day by gifting a FREE webinar to my audience. This year, I aim for this webinar to begin a transformative introvert rebellion. It is time for the Sassy Introverts to show-up proud and strong.

In 2025, one area of focus is to empower introverts to step into their strength, show up authentically, and create spaces where they are seen, heard, and valued. This is how we ensure we are not denied access, because that’s not happening, not on my watch anyway!

This isn’t just about introverts finding their voice.

It is time to go one step further, and also equip our allies to stand besides us, amplifying our presence and ensuring the introverts are sidelined no more. I’ll share more over the next few days, so I invite you to join me on 2nd January 2025 as we being the year authentically, with determination to rattle cages and shift the needle towards inclusion.

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Hot off the Press

Released this week by the House of Flourishing Introverts. 

If you rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify as well as Like, Comment and Share the YouTube video you will be helping other fellow introverts who may find this content helpful, encouraging them to live a more fulfilled and authentic life. 

As ever, I am here in your corner to advocate for you.

  • 6 minutes

Cage Rattler & Bias Shifter – Helping organisations unlock potential by shifting extraversion bias | Coaching quiet leaders | TEDx Speaker |  Trainer | Founder, CEO – Flourishing Introverts | Host – The Flourishing Introvert Talks and (dropping) Pebbles in the Pond | Author – The Flourishing Nudge  | Co-Flourisher, Co-Founder – Intent to Flourish

Intuition is the truth from within

Intuition is the truth from within

Nugget of the Week

 I have a curious nugget to share this week, and it’s being moved to take action. There have been several things over the last few weeks that have angered me and for once, I’ve not just let them drop.

In the past, when things have angered me on social media which is usually opinions stated as fundamental truths, I feel the anger and then move on once the feelings have subsided.
I don’t know whether it’s the sass rising, or the ‘end of termishness’, or my age, but I’m taking more of a stand these days. And it feels good!

I realise that this maybe an unusual thing for an introvert to do, but now that I have found my voice and am using it for good more often, I don’t want to ‘pipe down’ or sit back down.

I’m prepared to be the lone voice, the tall poppy who stands head above the rest and is seen when others are ducking out of sight. And I firmly believe that when enough of us do this, our message can’t be ignored.

Obviously, I’m selective about what I stand up for or against as I only have so much energy so I want to make sure it sustains me. But here’s why I believe this is a nugget; when we remain silent, we’re actually colluding. Our silence can rightly be taken as assent or approval. Are you really happy for that to be the case?

I’ll leave you to ponder that and reach your own conclusions.

This Sh** Really Happened!

 I have a belter this week! When a big name that I admire greatly, has a guest on their podcast talking about introversion but they mislead the audience with their ‘researched’ data.

This left me absolutely livid and spitting feathers because that’s now millions of people (that’s how many followers he has) who now are misinformed which will set our cause back considerably.

The bold claim that this body language expert made was that more than 80% of people are Ambiverts which the ‘expert’ being interviewed claimed is between introversion and extraversion. WRONG! She (almost) correctly said that introverts get their energy from being on their own and extraverts get their energy from being with people but then it all went horribly wrong.

She said that if you get your energy from being with the right people in the right environment, or can dial up your extraverted behaviours for an interview or something important, then you’re an ambivert. We all know that introverts can do that for a certain period of time but when their batteries drain, it’s off for some solo recharging. Staying in that environment when depleted leads to overwhelm then the introvert hangover and finally introvert burnout.

But thanks to this body language expert, the myths and misunderstandings are deepened, when I’ve been trying to bust them.

Let me be clear – being an introverted extravert does not make you an ambivert. Being an extraverted introvert does not make you an ambivert. And ambivert is someone who is equally recharged by being quiet or by being in any company or interaction. It literally doesn’t matter to them.

Grrrr!

Coming up, Buttercup!

It isn’t really inclusive leadership if the leaders are looking at DEI as a tick-box exercise. Inclusion is a serious responsibility and together we must create aware to ensure it is ‘Not Just Lip Service’.

While this photo may depict a happy mask with a sad face,  and I will share what one of my senior team members said –  I’m absolutely delighted to announce that on 18 December 2024, Szebastian Onne G. S. and I will be launching our collaborative audio event series, Not Just Lip Service (NJLS).

NJLS isn’t just another talking shop. It is a bold, thoughtfully produced series designed to ignite meaningful conversations that drive real, tangible change in the business world and beyond.

Our premiere episode takes a deep dive into Leadership and Inclusion. Let’s face it, in a world where Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) too often gets reduced to tick-box exercises, it’s time to call that out. True inclusion demands more than surface-level commitments or polished policies. It calls for Intentionality, Action, and Accountability to ensure everyone, from the first to the last member of the community, has equal opportunities to flourish.

And here’s the truth: if leaders are treating DEI as a compliance exercise, then they’re missing the point entirely. Inclusive leadership requires courage, care, and a willingness to truly embrace the full spectrum of human diversity.

To kick things off, our inaugural episode features a dynamic panel discussion with four brilliant voices from across the globe. Representing diverse industries and perspectives, they’ll unpack the challenges and opportunities of creating genuinely inclusive spaces. Two esteemed guests will join Szebastian and I, ensuring a rich conversation from four unique corners of the world.

For all the event details, click the banner or buttons below. 

Let’s make sure DEI is Not Just Lip Service but a living, breathing, sustained commitment to a better future.

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For future episodes and more don’t forget to subscribe to Dreamaniac TV’s YouTube Channel. 

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Hot off the Press

Released this week by the House of Flourishing Introverts. 

If you rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify as well as Like, Comment and Share the YouTube video you will be helping other fellow introverts who may find this content helpful, encouraging them to live a more fulfilled and authentic life. 

As ever, I am here in your corner to advocate for you.

  • 5 minutes

Cage Rattler & Bias Shifter – Helping organisations unlock potential by shifting extraversion bias | Coaching quiet leaders | TEDx Speaker |  Trainer | Founder, CEO – Flourishing Introverts | Host – The Flourishing Introvert Talks and (dropping) Pebbles in the Pond | Author – The Flourishing Nudge  | Co-Flourisher, Co-Founder – Intent to Flourish

There is never a good reason

There is never a good reason

to throw people under the bus

Nugget of the Week

 I’m not if this is a nugget or a truth-b*mb, but here it is anyway. Identifying as an introvert does not necessarily limit you to a life of solitary confinement where you are unable to engage with life.

I’ve been shocked at some of the questions asked in many of the introvert groups on social media this week and it’s reinforced why I wanted Introvert’s Corner to be very different. The questions posed demonstrate clearly just how much misunderstanding there is about what introversion is and isn’t including the regular conflation of concepts and issues. 

Here are a selection of some of the posts.

  • INTROVERTS on SOCIAL media, something doesn’t sound right
  • I’m single and I find it so hard to break the ice and talk to women.
  • Can introverts make friends?
  • I’m so introverted that I cry when go to public bathroom. What should I do?
  • Who just wants to stay in bed all day and never leave the house?
  • Most introverts are quiet because they are scared of people judging them
  • No matter how I try to blend with humans, I’m still alien.. I can’t act like them, I can’t talk like them…

Some of these posts hurt my heart and upset me that these people think all of their problems boil down to their introversion. And because we all know that introversion on its own doesn’t need fixing, some are left confused thinking that their behaviour is natural for all introverts.

Fact – Introversion itself is not something that you need therapy or treatment for.

On the other hand, Social anxiety, depression, misanthropy, shyness, low self-esteem, a lack of confidence and poor communication skills are all things that can be changed or improved, if you so choose.

Please don’t allow yourself to conflate issues and problems that can be improved when you work with the right person with your natural introversion.

This Sh** Really Happened!

Eeek – I’ve been in front of the camera again which is not something I usually enjoy. However, when you find a photographer who completely ‘gets you’, it’s a whole different experience.

Back in the spring of 2022 based on the recommendation of someone I really trust, I booked a photoshoot with Brigitta of Nux Photography

As you might imagine, I rather nervous at meeting a new person for the first time who I was immediately going to trust with capturing the essence of who I was. I need not have worried though.

Whilst lively, bright and larger than life, Brigitta identifies as an introvert, so was able to empathise with me and build rapport really quickly. And the outcome was an array of fabulous pics that I’ve been using for the past two and a half years. But that length of time in business when you’re my age is long enough for things to change significantly and the last thing I wanted was for my photos not to reflect who I am now.

And so on Monday of this week, I spent a glorious few hours in the company of Brigitta and her daughter, properly laughing with them as I followed their directions. And I was in good company as also having their photos taken were Nicola and Michelle. That’s not all though – it gets better. My dear friend Helen, a talented beauty therapist kindly came with me to be my make-up artist for the day. It was such fun to watch Helen taking photos of Brigitta taking photos of me!

I’ll soon be able to share some of the official pics and I think you’ll be able to see just how at ease I was.

And, I challenge anyone who says introverts are invisible or like to hide all of the time. Not this one.

Coming up, Buttercup!

It isn’t really inclusive leadership if the leaders are looking at DEI as a tick-box exercise. Inclusion is a serious responsibility and together we must create aware to ensure it is ‘Not Just Lip Service’.

This week, for the Buttercup segment, I give the stage to Szebastian, my colleague and co-founder of our brand ‘Intent to Flourish’. – Joanna Rawbone

–
Thank you Joanna.

I am thrilled to share that on 18 December 2024 we are launching our collaborative Audio Event series – Not Just Lip Service (NJLS).

NJLS is an an innovative audio series dedicated to sparking meaningful conversations that lead to real action in business world and humanity at large.

In the premiere episode, we are focusing on Leadership and Inclusion. In a world where Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) are often treated as mere checkboxes, we aim to discuss and challenge this mindset by exploring the profound responsibility of creating truly inclusive spaces.

Wouldn’t you agree that it isn’t really inclusive leadership if leaders view DEI as a tick-box exercise. Inclusion is more than policies on a piece of paper – what we need it Intentionality, Action, Accountability, for true and equal flourishing of the first to last member of our community.

DEI is Not Just Lip Service – but a sustained commitment – one that requires genuine and intentionally inclusive leadership.

The inaugural episode will feature an engaging panel discussion with four voices from across the globe, offering unique perspectives on this pressing issue. The panel includes two esteemed guests alongside our dynamic hosts, all representing diverse industries and viewpoints from four different locations worldwide. Check-out full details of the event here. 

You can join us on LinkedIn or click the buttons below to play on the destination platform of your choice.

Intentionally, – Szebastian – Because. I. Am. 

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Hot off the Press

Released this week by the House of Flourishing Introverts. 

If you rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify as well as Like, Comment and Share the YouTube video you will be helping other fellow introverts who may find this content helpful, encouraging them to live a more fulfilled and authentic life. 

As ever, I am here in your corner to advocate for you.

  • 5 minutes

Cage Rattler & Bias Shifter – Helping organisations unlock potential by shifting extraversion bias | Coaching quiet leaders | TEDx Speaker |  Trainer | Founder, CEO – Flourishing Introverts | Host – The Flourishing Introvert Talks and (dropping) Pebbles in the Pond | Author – The Flourishing Nudge  | Co-Flourisher, Co-Founder – Intent to Flourish

Learning is a journey of trust

Learning is a journey of trust

Nugget of the Week

There is an old saying which goes “A problem shared is a problem halved”. In the grip of a problem, we’re think we’re being considerate by keeping it to ourselves.

This became really relevant for me this week as a good friend was clearly struggling, but reluctant to ask for help as they didn’t want to trouble anyone else.

But there is real substance behind that old saying which in this age of anxiety, were someone dies by suicide every 90 minutes here in the UK, we’d do well to remember. Sharing with those we trust is not burdening them, it truly is lightening our varied loads.

  • It can provide emotional relief as you’re expressing feelings and emotions caught in our bodies and brains. As we release what has been trapped, our wellbeing improves. Beware the vulnerability hangover though.
  • It can provide new perspectives not because those you share with automatically offer their point of view, but because as we speak what we’re struggling with, we often hear both the truth and the fantasy, or catastrophised version of the truth.
  • It can help you feel supported. Once you truly know that not only are you not alone, but that others genuinely care for you, you can rest easier. Remember we are all human and therefore built for connection; the right type of connection.

All it takes is for you to have both a felt sense and the knowledge that you are safe, with yourself and your chosen sharing partner. I consider it one of the highest compliments anyone can give me.

In Photo: My friend and official photographer – Brigitta (NUX) Scholz Mastroianni

This Sh** Really Happened!

One of the delegates said at the end of the training “Can I have you on speed dial please Jo?” Whilst this may seem quite flattering initially, it’s not quite as it seems.

Now why might I not be flattered? Well, as a change agent, facilitator and coach, I want people to feel confident enough to apply the learning, and if they feel they need me in their back pocket or on speed dial, my job is not yet complete.

One of the ways I measure success in my role is when I’m no longer needed – A bit like Nanny McPhee. I still remember her infamous line “There is something you should understand about the way I work. When you need me but do not want me, then I must stay. When you want me but no longer need me, then I have to go.”

Here’s what I need to clarify though – did this delegate want me more than she needed me? If that’s the case, then I am safe to go and leave her to apply her learning. If not, then I’d be better doing something pretty soon to reinforce her learning and make it stickier.

Maybe I’ll be more Nanny McPhee in future and ask that question.

 

Coming up, Buttercup!

Does this time of year have you feeling more No, No, No than Ho, Ho, Ho? Don’t despair, my Seasonal Sanity Savers are getting their annual overhaul.

It took me a few years to educate my nearest about how draining I found the whole ‘festive season’. I’d developed a number of ways to keep myself from feeling overwhelmed one day ate a time and they turned into my popular Seasonal Sanity Savers. I mean, why keep something to yourself, when they can help other people.

My husband is so on board with my (and now our) need for calm that he often jokes that we should keep the curtains closed and tell everyone we’ve gone away for Christmas.

So tempting.

Anyway, if you struggle as I did (and sometime still do), make sure you opt-in for my daily hints, tips and boundary reminders that are proven to work. You’ll receive an email every day throughout December, because the stress and pressure of social, workplace and family expectations lasts for the whole month.

And if you are already awash with emails and receiving one more a day through December would just add to your overwhelm, you’ll be delighted to know we’ve thought of that too! You can now access them via LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. 

I can’t think of a better way to counter feeling depleted and defeated than a daily nudge, a delicious moment of calm amidst the chaos and a pragmatic reminder to look after your wellbeing.

It costs you nothing and may just save your sanity!

Hot off the Press

Released this week by the House of Flourishing Introverts. 

If you rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify as well as Like, Comment and Share the YouTube video you will be helping other fellow introverts who may find this content helpful, encouraging them to live a more fulfilled and authentic life. 

As ever, I am here in your corner to advocate for you.

  • 4 minutes

Cage Rattler & Bias Shifter – Helping organisations unlock potential by shifting extraversion bias | Coaching quiet leaders | TEDx Speaker |  Trainer | Founder, CEO – Flourishing Introverts | Host – The Flourishing Introvert Talks and (dropping) Pebbles in the Pond | Author – The Flourishing Nudge  | Co-Flourisher, Co-Founder – Intent to Flourish