The Majesty of Quiet Presence
(dropping) Pebbles in the Pond
Season 2, Episode 001
In this episode, we explore the nuanced world where introversion meets presence. We often misconstrue presence as an attribute reserved for the extraverts and gregarious, but that’s a myth we ought to debunk.
True presence isn’t about volume; it’s about value.
I am so thrilled to announce, the show will also feature its very first Flourishing Personality – Helen Ferguson. She is an Integrative Trauma Psychotherapist who works around Childhood, Complex & Sexual Trauma guiding integrative body – mind recovery & healing for children & adults.
Key Points
- Presence transcends loud charisma
- Confidence built on self-awareness
- Authenticity empowers introverted leaders
About Helen Ferguson
Helen guides individuals on their healing journey from childhood trauma, CPTSD, sexual abuse.
She says, “Just because something bad happened in your life, doesn’t mean you have to hate yourself for the rest of your life“
Helen is a
- Childhood & Complex Trauma, CPTSD, & Sexual Abuse Expert
- Clinically Qualified Trauma Psychotherapist guiding you to inner peace
- Educator & Trainer for health & social care professionals.
In Joanna’s words,
“Helen epitomises Quiet Presence as she’s calm, appropriately boundaried and the kindest soul I know.
Don’t get me wrong, she is strong with a really positive approach and holds space for her clients with grace and compassion.
She is simply one of my favourite people to mingle with.“
– We could not have said it any better if we tried!
Team – Flourishing Introverts
Connect with Helen
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This became really relevant for me this week as a good friend was clearly struggling, but reluctant to ask for help as they didn’t want to trouble anyone else.
Now why might I not be flattered? Well, as a change agent, facilitator and coach, I want people to feel confident enough to apply the learning, and if they feel they need me in their back pocket or on speed dial, my job is not yet complete.
It took me a few years to educate my nearest about how draining I found the whole ‘festive season’. I’d developed a number of ways to keep myself from feeling overwhelmed one day ate a time and they turned into my popular Seasonal Sanity Savers. I mean, why keep something to yourself, when they can help other people.
One thing I have noticed is that if I feel a little fear or anxiety about an invitation, it’d be all too easy to immediately decline and use my need for replenishment as a reason (or excuse).
I thought I was being sensible, but there were several factors that I hadn’t accounted for. Lots of road closures and my driver – Alan.
Impending insanity because we’re now firmly into the so called ‘festive season’ but that’s not how it feels to many of us.
Because the stress and pressure of social, workplace and family expectations lasts for the whole month, so it makes sense to have support for the whole month.
If you’ve been in my world for more than a moment, you’ll know that I’m a big fan of noticing, so the whole experiment started well for me. Dr David encouraged us to notice simple examples of kindness, like when someone lets you stitch in the queue of traffic or holds the lift door for you.
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t asking for or looking for validation, but when an eminent strategist, author and successful business person says that, I have to admit to feeling more than a tingle of excitement.
Clinton Jordan 
The reality is that the longer we leave things the more difficult they become. If we’re leaving them hoping they will improve on their own, more often than not we’ll be disappointed.
How will we even be able to value diversity if we’re intolerant of difference? Before you get all huffy with me and insist I don’t understand, but do any of us really?
What’s fascinating to me is that I can see very clearly when others are in the grip of these drivers, but it’s so much harder to hold the mirror up to myself. But here’s what I’ve realised, as I notice it in others, it’s the nudge I need to take a quick look at my own behaviour.
We often mention that a failure to listen is the biggest problem in communication, but I think for we introverts, it’s more likely to be a failure to signal our intent.
When that happens, I hold my emotions back, hold them in and hold myself together. These are some of the bioenergetic holding patterns that I personally guide my Frustrated to Flourishing travelling companions through during our journey.
They said that although they were a little unsettled at walking into the room and seeing someone other than me, the trainers were very helpful and the training was great.
True presence isn’t about volume ; it’s about value. 
If you know you are ready to start flourishing, or are looking for ways to be more intentional about how you’re already flourishing, we have something coming that you’ll love.
I have watched from afar as she got married to the man who sent her flowers whilst we were there, and as she gave birth to her two beautiful boys who are growing into fine young men.
The upcoming episode of 
We might push ourselves to stay busy, over-commit, or overextend, all in the name of proving our worth. Shame often tags along, whispering that taking time for ourselves is selfish or unproductive, feeding the belief that resting is a weakness or something to be earned only after we’ve done “enough.”
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The work we do through the A&O Shearman ReStart programme with the over 50s, who following redundancy or having cared for elderly relatives, find themselves looking for fulfilling work. 
